she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
why is half of my head shaved?
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