Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
