After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
