There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
