your room smells of hookers.
And success
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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