goodnight i made you a song goodbye
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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