Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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