He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
