when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
