After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
