Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
