First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I looked at my own cervix.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
