The brown eye won't let me do that either.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
