Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
