every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
