Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
