I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
