I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
