my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
