wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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