and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
