OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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