Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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