....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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