So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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