you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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