time to smoke my breakfast
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
