hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
