I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I love you.
Bad choice
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