Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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