I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She announced her abortion via fbk
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
