Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
