all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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