If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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