last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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