when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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