Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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