HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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