He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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