we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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