i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
