just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
