I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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