omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
