Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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