I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just gift wrapped bread.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Found your dick twin last night
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize