We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
