Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
