Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
