and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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