problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
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I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
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Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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