who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.