Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
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Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
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Except there is my pee all over the walls now
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.