All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.