Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
