birth control should be required to get into college
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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