Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My cat gives me a boner
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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