you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it hurts more in the daytime
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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