Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
