The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
How external is "for external use only"?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
They left me at home... I'm a liability
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
